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The Santa Ramona Chronicles

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SRPD Crime Log

About 2:30 in the morning of 4/24/19, masked individuals parked in front of the SRPD and arranged a groupings of live pigs on the sidewalk. One man then proceeded to cut the throats of all the pigs in a dramatic display of theater. The PD found this display and after investigation, the names of various police officers were carved into the flesh of these pigs. While this particular infantile prank has been pulled on us before, and is considered tripe by this point, we are particularly disturbed that this group of individuals decided to carve the name of one of our children upon the smallest pig.

The officers of SRPD signed up for the job knowing we may give the ultimate sacrifice, however our children do not. I don't know what these individuals hoped to gain from threatening a small, defenseless child. Perhaps they thought they would instill fear and intimidation in SRPD officers. We are not afraid. We are not intimidated. You have only brought forth our deepest protective instincts and our ire. We will not rest until you are found and put behind bars to rot where you belong.