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The Santa Ramona Chronicles

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By: RIta Rumor

A very prominent physician in Santa Ramona is rumored to have an STD. An unidentified Latino man was heard speaking about it rather loudly at one of the July 4th events. The name of the woman was not released but rumor has it, she'd been seen on the arm of some of Santa Ramona's most prominent men.

Two prostitutes were seen entering Wolfe's Tavern on Saturday night. The Owner Stubbard McCaw was not available for questions but rumor has it Santa Ramona police are watching the establishment.

Ms. Nancy, the beloved ticket matron who has been collecting train fares for the Santa Ramona express was seen under the influence and in a compromising position with a Chinese Man and a duck. Rumor has it that both the man from China and the duck were wearing large grins when they entered their rail car.

The opinions expressed in this gossip column do not represent the opinions of the Santa Ramona Valley Chronicles.