The Santa Ramona Chronicles

Local News & Events

July 22, 2020

It’s the Second Annual Comic Con event at Santa Ramona’s Boiler Room this Sunday, July 26th from 3 – 6 p.m. It’s like Halloween in July were our residents and guests dress as their favorite comic book hero or villain. You don’t need to be in costume to join in the fun, but it might pay you to dress it up. Your host, Joseph Styles is giving a $500 prize for the best costume. Check your inventory for that Joker outfit you bought five years ago and join the fun.

When asked about the first Comic Con event and how things went Joseph was quick to respond "Yes, the first one was a big success. Doing the event in the middle of the blockbuster movie season and the San Diego Comic Con usually has people embracing those characters. And yes, we do encourage patrons to come down Sunday dressed like their favorites. That is half the fun of the event, seeing who people come as."

As to the music, “Kittara is well known here in Santa Ramona. She has been my DJ for almost every monthly event we have h...

July 20, 2020

On July 12th we ran our first opinion piece in the Chronicles. Written by Isabella Carter, it argued that prostitution should be legalized in Santa Ramona Valley. We asked for people to submit their own opinions.

Yesterday we published a reply by Under Sheriff Azariah Brentt, written in a personal capacity. Today we publish two further replies. We welcome responses both to the original article and to the responses.

From Slim Hutchinson:

While Ms Carter may have her heart in the right place, she should look deeper into the possible results of the action. Would she be fine with Mrs. Wilson on the corner setting up a lemonade stand only instead of lemonade for a quarter, she gives head behind a curtain for ten bucks every Saturday afternoon to earn a few extra dollars? Or maybe the cheerleading squad could sell sex instead of holding a carwash to raise money for new uniforms. The outrage would be more than a moral issue. But remember, Mrs. Wilson and the cheerleaders are providing a communit...

July 19, 2020

On July 12th we ran our first opinion piece in the Chronicles. Written by Isabella Carter, it argued that prostitution should be legalized in Santa Ramona Valley. We asked for people to submit their own opinions.

This reply is by Under Sheriff Azariah Brentt of the Santa Ramona Sheriff’s Department. It is, as he makes clear, his own personal opinion and not that of the SRSD.


I am not one to usually speak my mind on most subjects. However, as I have already been quoted in this, out of context I might add. I feel the need to consolidate the reason behind my views. Before I begin I want to make it VERY clear this is my personal stand, not the view of the law or the Sheriff's Department.

My words as reported were, "Sex is something that should be shared intimately between people who are bonded together not sold like a commodity." Well, let's break that down, shall we? “Sex is something that should be shared intimately between people who are bonded together...” Bonded means tied to someone,...

July 18, 2020

There was chaos in Wolfe’s Tavern last night as the Sheriff’s Department seized and arrested Dr Gunther Roberts, developer of Charge Soda.. This follows the exposure by SRV7 News and the Santa Ramona Chronicles of the subliminal messages in his adverts.

Armed with a warrant for Dr Roberts’ arrest, Deputies went to both his work and home addresses, eventually tracking him down to Wolfe’s Tavern, where a Ladies Night was in progress.

Sheriff Sarina Jade Ramirez, accompanied by Under Sheriff Brentt, entered the Tavern and attempted to arrest him. Dr Roberts responded by using a phone with a flashing light to put Wolfe’s owner, who was serving behind the bar, into a trance and ordered her to “shoot them all”.

It was at this point that panic seized the crowd, who tried to get away. Under Sheriff Brentt pulled out his pistol as the Tavern owner reached under the bar. Fortunately, in her semi-conscious state, she pulled out the soda gun and fired soda at the nearest man.

The man’s wife lu...

July 17, 2020

It's summer and the Hot Air Balloon and the Ferris Wheel are back out there on the boardwalk waiting for you to come and ride them.

Check out the photos to see the views of Santa Ramona you don't get on the ground!


From the Ferris Wheel, looking over Imperial Square.

From the Hot Air Balloon, looking southwards.

From the Hot Air Balloon, looking northwards.

July 13, 2020

New allegations have arisen against Charge Soda, after it was cleared of containing a toxic ingredient. This time it concerns their adverts. It is now alleged that they contain subliminal messages that could incite people to commit crimes.

The allegation were made on last Wednesday’s SRV7 evening news by TV journalist Kent Kenwood. He revealed that SRV7’s video experts had discovered the subliminal messages when they slowed down the advert.

He ran a tape of the slowed down advert on the news so that viewers could check for themselves. He explained that, while the continuous music in the advert runs at a frequency of 100hz, the subliminal messages run at the slower 4hz. This slow frequency puts the brain into a suggestible state in which it is possible the viewer could unconsciously accept what was being said.

At the slowed-down speed the messages are distinct to the conscious mind. They are "Release your control, embrace your most innermost desires..", "Embrace your desires" and "Ch...

July 12, 2020

Almas Barone and Alessandro Vicentini

Leone Ottavio Moretti, son of Santa Ramona's Mayor, and Estrella Garza, CEO of SRV7 Studios and presenter of TV's Ella Show, were among the one hundred guests at Saturday night's elegant gala event at the Hotel Cortez.

The event was hosted by Famiglia Barone, represented by CEO Almas Barone and the CEO of Hotel Cortez, Alessandro Vicentini (seen in the photo) The purpose of the event was to present their wine brands to the west coast and unveil their marketing campaign. The marketing campaign will star Ella Garza.

Famiglia Barone own a famous traditional vineyard in the central Italian region of Tuscany. This vineyard produces a Chianti, that has been given the highest award in the Italian wine industry, the DOCG or Denominazione di Origine Controllata e Garantita. This classification is a guarantee of the wine’s quality from the Italian government, marked by the numbered government seal on each bottle.

Famiglia Barone also owns a vineyard produc...

July 12, 2020

This is the first of our new series publishing opinions of the residents of Santa Ramona Valley. We welcome responses and will publish the best ones. Articles published under the heading of 'Opinion' do not necessarily represent the views and opinion of the Chronicles. defines prostitution as "the practice of engaging in relatively indiscriminate sexual activity, in general with someone who is not a spouse or a friend, in exchange for immediate payment in money or other valuables."

It is considered the oldest profession. While prostitutes can be male, female or transgender and can include heterosexual and homosexual activities, it is predominantly female prostitutes with male "customers." According to the Santa Ramona Sheriff's Department, prostitution is difficult to convict so the majority of prostitutes are given a fine of $2000. The "customers" are cited for solicitation and fined $1000. The stiffer penalty is for those who are called "pimps" or those engaging in a p...

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