THE sANTA rAMONA cHRONICLES

The Santa Ramona Chronicles

Local News & Events

August 6, 2020

A number of jurors failed to show up for the trial of former mayoral candidate Manny Moore this week. He elected to be tried by the judge.

Manny Moore chose to be tried by the judge so as not to have to turn up for his trial a third time. His first trial was halted because Moore’s counsel objected to the judge, as she was married to the arresting officer. The judge, Eve Stone, ruled this was a valid objection and the trial was rescheduled.

Moore was charged with possession of an unregistered firearm in public, It was alleged that the gun’s serial number was scratched off, also making the weapon illegal.

Moore refused a plea deal from the prosecution and pleaded not guilty. He was found guilty and sentenced to a $1000 fine and five hours in prison.

Manny Moore has recently opened a bank in Santa Ramona, the Valley Moore Bank. It is not known what the reaction the Division of Financial Institutions, the part of the California Department of Business Oversight that regulates banks in t...

July 18, 2020

There was chaos in Wolfe’s Tavern last night as the Sheriff’s Department seized and arrested Dr Gunther Roberts, developer of Charge Soda.. This follows the exposure by SRV7 News and the Santa Ramona Chronicles of the subliminal messages in his adverts.

Armed with a warrant for Dr Roberts’ arrest, Deputies went to both his work and home addresses, eventually tracking him down to Wolfe’s Tavern, where a Ladies Night was in progress.

Sheriff Sarina Jade Ramirez, accompanied by Under Sheriff Brentt, entered the Tavern and attempted to arrest him. Dr Roberts responded by using a phone with a flashing light to put Wolfe’s owner, who was serving behind the bar, into a trance and ordered her to “shoot them all”.

It was at this point that panic seized the crowd, who tried to get away. Under Sheriff Brentt pulled out his pistol as the Tavern owner reached under the bar. Fortunately, in her semi-conscious state, she pulled out the soda gun and fired soda at the nearest man.

The man’s wife lu...

July 17, 2020

It's summer and the Hot Air Balloon and the Ferris Wheel are back out there on the boardwalk waiting for you to come and ride them.

Check out the photos to see the views of Santa Ramona you don't get on the ground!

Photos:

From the Ferris Wheel, looking over Imperial Square.

From the Hot Air Balloon, looking southwards.

From the Hot Air Balloon, looking northwards.

July 13, 2020

New allegations have arisen against Charge Soda, after it was cleared of containing a toxic ingredient. This time it concerns their adverts. It is now alleged that they contain subliminal messages that could incite people to commit crimes.

The allegation were made on last Wednesday’s SRV7 evening news by TV journalist Kent Kenwood. He revealed that SRV7’s video experts had discovered the subliminal messages when they slowed down the advert.

He ran a tape of the slowed down advert on the news so that viewers could check for themselves. He explained that, while the continuous music in the advert runs at a frequency of 100hz, the subliminal messages run at the slower 4hz. This slow frequency puts the brain into a suggestible state in which it is possible the viewer could unconsciously accept what was being said.

At the slowed-down speed the messages are distinct to the conscious mind. They are "Release your control, embrace your most innermost desires..", "Embrace your desires" and "Ch...

July 8, 2020

We all know Dr Roberts from the Charge Soda adverts, extolling its praises. Or maybe from the TV interview on the Ella Show. And now Santa Ramona Valley’s newest celebrity has agreed to an interview with the Chronicles.

Dr Gunther Roberts is a psychiatrist at Santa Ramona General Hospital, and we interviewed him on his lunch break. He qualified at Chicago University and did his residency in Chicago as well. He’s worked in New York, Atlanta and his last place of work before coming to Santa Ramona was Dallas. He’s a recent arrival in Santa Ramona.

Explaining his moves, he told the Chronicles that most of his patients are what he calls “short term situations”. He helps out people with specific problems and once he’s helped they don’t need him any more. After a year or two he moves on.

So how did a psychiatrist come to invent an energy drink? Dr Roberts explained that he has a specialty in metabolic aid. A lot of his patients had tried a variety of supplements to self-medicate, and so,...

July 1, 2020

Everybody in Santa Ramona Valley must have heard about Charge Soda. Its adverts play all the time on the TV and it’s available in stores and bars throughout the city. But what is it? And do its energy claims stand up?

Charge Soda comes in three flavors. Apple, Citrus and Tropical Twist. It is manufactured in Mexico and claims to contain no narcotics. Its TV advert asserts that it contains “more energy than five cups of coffee” and is “what you need to connect with your innermost desires." So the Chronicles decided to investigate.

Charge Soda was developed by Dr Gunther Roberts, a psychiatrist and skilled hypnotist. In a recent TV interview he made the claim that Charge Soda is better than a full night’s sleep “for giving you energy”.

In the same interview he said that it was Charge Soda’s special formula that gave it the kick of a traditional energy drink without “all the excessive jitters and calories”. But he also admitted, later on, that it has the same sugar levels as a traditio...

June 24, 2020

 The Mayor surveys the litter


If you were in Southside at lunchtime on Tuesday, you would have seen groups of people walking around picking up litter and waste.

They were members of Mayor Roisin Russo’s volunteer force to clean up Southside. She promised this during the election and this was their first outing.

Around a dozen people, including Under Sheriff Brentt and two deputies, gathered for the clean-up. After a delay, they broke up into groups and, armed with trash bags, proceeded to get to work.

Waste paper and cigarette ends were put into bags. Larger items, such as abandoned furniture and, believe it or not, a toilet bowl, were moved to specific places for garbage workers to pick up.

 An alley off Shady St before the clean-up

The alley after the clean-up

Mayor Russo thought the turnout was good, though conceded it largely consisted of her friends, though Under Sheriff Brentt said the turnout was smaller than he thought it would be. He added "I do think it will make a differenc...

June 18, 2020

Manny Moore

The Sheriff’s Department have arrested a suspect for the stabbing of Manny Moore, the unsuccessful candidate in the recent Mayoral election.

Moore was stabbed three weeks ago, during the campaign. He declined to give  statement about the attack to the Sheriff’s Department, but claimed, in an interview with the Chronicles, following his release from hospital, that he believed the incident was a case of mistaken identity.

The Chronicles has, however, received information since we published this statement, that suggests that he was, in fact, the intended victim and that the assailant was known to him. Santa Ramona’s Under Sheriff Brentt has told the Chronicles, commenting on the attack, that he believes “there is a good deal more to it than appears”.

It appears, from information given to the Chronicles, that Moore and a female companion had arranged to meet with a third party, and that the attack took place while they were talking. Both Moore and his companion were hospital...

June 5, 2020

The bodies of two men, believed to be drug mules, have been found, on two separate days, on the beach in Santa Ramona. Both had died of drug overdoses with drugs found in their stomachs.

One has been identified as Roger Bledshoe, of Los Angeles, who has a police record for drug-related offenses. Beside his body was found a baggie (pictured above) and what the police describe as “drugs paraphernalia”. Bledshoe’s body was discovered on May 31st.

The other man, found two days earlier, on the 29th, has not been identified.

The Sheriff’s Department believes that these deaths are evidence of a low-level drug dealer operating out of Santa Ramona Valley. They would like to warn the community of this and ask for any information readers might have about this.

A drug mule is a person who smuggles drugs across the border into the US for a dealer by carrying them in a baggie in their stomach. The Sheriff’s Department is at pains to point out that this is a highly dangerous thing to do, and warn...

June 1, 2020

Following the sale of the Virtuous Vice chain of stores to Conglomerate Clothing by Chiara Villanova, Santa Ramona’s premier fashionable clothing store may eventually close.

Chiara Villanova, Santa Ramona’s former Mayor, created the brand from her dorm room at Boston University, and it quickly became so successful that she s dropped out of school. In the ten years since, the brand has grown to a chain with locations in twelve states, including stores in Chicago, Los Angeles, Atlanta and Las Vegas.

But success is a double-edged sword. She ran the business full-time plus every single day of those ten years. Even when she was Mayor of Santa Ramona she would go home and make fabric choices or let the marketing department know which photo layout to run in which market.


She became burned out. As she put it, “it had turned from a passion into a prison”. Having just become a mother, she decided it was time for a change of pace.

Because the sales contract with Conglomerate prohibits Ms Villa...

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