The Santa Ramona Chronicles

Local News & Events

SRPD Press Release: Grand Theft Auto

On Wednesday, January 16, 2019, a Santa Ramona Police Department patrol vehicle was stolen from City Hall. The vehicle was later located and was crashed on Highway 66. Two suspects were identified and are currently being investigated. If you have any information about this case, please call the Santa Ramona Police Department's non-emergency hot line.

SRPD Press Release: Dead Body Found

On Sunday, January 20, 2019, officers with the Santa Ramona Police Department responded to a suspected overdose at the Saturn Apartment Complex. The victim was found and was pronounced dead on the scene. The name of the deceased is being withheld at this time.

Suspect Shot, Victim Alive but Critical

On the Evening of Saturday Jan 26th 19, Officers of SRPD and a civilian Social Worker who had been assisting in their investigation, had been investigating a Missing Person case. A K9 unit was used to follow the man's scent. Officers were led to an old industrial building in Rookery Street. After the K9 indicated that the scent went inside and on finding the building locked they called in backup. On breaching the building the Officers found the Missing Person inside close to death and being sexually assaulted by a male. The Officers ordered the male to immediately desist. The male failed to comply. All of them repeated the orders, the male still failed to desist. An Officer then discharged t

Let Us Give You a Good Ride

Uberme Is an on demand transportation service which has brought a revolution in the taxi industry all across the world. The business model has made it possible for people to simply tap their smartphone and have a cab arrive at their location in the minimum possible time, leaving a lot of budding startups yearning for an App like Uber. Customers will have minimum waiting time, prices lesser than the normal taxi fares, Cashless ride and can also track the Cab on Map. Drivers get an additional source of Income, flexible working schedules, and easy payment procedure. The relationship with customers is not just by social media but also face to face, providing a car to those not have one, those w

Boiler Room Under New Management

Come check out the Boiler Room, Back, and better than ever. Our Grand opening is this Friday, January 18 at 8 PM. Featuring DJ Kitten Karma, Music, Drinks and check out the VIP room! New Management, New decor, New place to be on a Friday night. Or any night for that matter.

Give up the Gun

There has been a spate of shootings in Santa Ramona in the past few months, so in an effort to try and counter some crimes happening at present, Santa Ramon Police are collecting unwanted and unlicensed firearms, next month, to try to prevent them ending up in the hands of criminals. Santa Ramona Police Dept Lieutenant Azariah Brentt said: "The fight against gun crime is stronger than ever and we are working with partners and our local communities to safeguard, educate and intervene at the earliest opportunity. Many firearms are often held in innocence and ignorance of their illegality, or were overlooked and forgotten in people's homes.One weapon off the streets is one less that can be used

Slippery on Scarlett

Approximately 75 gallons of Anal-eaze Cherry scented lube was spilled on Scarlet Lane in front of Madame's Vault after it fell out of a delivery truck leaving the shop in the mid-afternoon. Members of Hell's Horsemen were seen moving the barrels out of the street and putting kitty litter on the spilled lube in an attempt to soak it up. There were scattered reports of about a half-dozen gunshots prior to the delivery truck speeding off.

Weekly Police Report

1/2/2019 Rape On Wednesday, January 3, 2019, a rape was reported to have taken place in the mayors office at city hall. Its alleged that the suspect was a friend of the victims. The suspect has been recently arrested on another matter and remains in police custody. No names are being released at this time. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 1/5/2019 Rape On Saturday, January 5, 2019, SRPD Officers were called out assist with securing the scene of an air plain crash at the old dri

Hit and Run

Gunnar Ragnarsson of Madam's Vault was struck by a vehicle outside of Alley Cat's Strip Club. The car, a blue Ferrari caught on security cameras fled the scene. Mister Ragnarsson is recovering from his injuries.

Breaking Celebrity Gossip

He's been spotted all over town but is it Jason Momoa or Game of Thrones and Aquaman fame? Paparazzi reports out of Hollywood say the actor has been traveling the country posing as his own stunt double as a means of escaping attention. So who was it buying coffee this morning at Creamy Centers?

Monster Trucks Atop the Dam

On the 25th to 26th there will be a fundraiser set up atop the Santa Ramona dam, hosted jointly by NAEMT and Monster Jam featuring a performance by the Chemidolls, food/drink/merchandise with proceeds going to charity, and an up close look at two monster trucks; Tombsister - a celebrity guest and Cardiac Arrest - a truck rebuilt by a local first responder for the fundraiser. All attendees will be entered in a raffle for a mystery prize.

Advertisement: Santa Ramona Capital

Santa Ramona Capital now offers a conveniently placed location for all your banking needs! Come visit a financial officer today, at 17 University Plaza, because fiscal responsibility shouldn't come at a price!

Lifestyle Section: The Boiler Room

Today's Location the Boiler Room Club, were all your nightlife dreams come true with sexy bartenders and kicking tones to drown out the sorrows of the day This amazing club is located on Juniper and Mission Blvd, which can't be missed with the massive neon cocktail glass over the entrance Inside you will find an array of sitting from the comfortable bar stools to the lounger type seating around the illuminated dance floor. The staff is warm and friendly creating signature as well as those drinks we all know and love quick and fast with a smile. One will easily find the atmosphere relaxing and able to take away the reality of any troubles for the evening. So come on down to the Boiler Room Cl

Weekly Police Report

1/4/2019 "Vehicle Pursuit" On Thursday, January 3, 2019, officers with the SRPD observed a sports car, pink in color, driving on Shady St. The vehicle's high rate of speed was recorded by the officer's radar detector, at which point the officers tailed the vehicle and activated their lights and sirens. The suspect failed to yield and lead officers on a lengthy pursuit. Spike strips were successfully deployed along Imperial Blvd., at which point the vehicle lost control and the driver was ejected from the vehicle. EMS arrived on scene and transported the suspect back to SRGH and is in stable condition. The driver was arrested for Grand Theft Auto, Driving Under the Influe

Press Release: Mayor's Health

Official statement From the Mayor's office - I, Frank Castle, mayor of Santa Ramona I am suffering from small cell carcinoma. Lung cancer. I will not leave the office. God bless you and God bless Santa Ramona.

Press Release: Club Shooting

On Dec. 30th at approx. 5:15pm, an Officer from the Santa Ramona Police Department went into The Black Thorn Host Club with a man he had been questioning. The man worked there and needed to collect his gun permit to show the Officer. As the Officer entered the premises there were several persons with guns out including a shotgun. Multiple shots were fired. The Officer drew his own weapon and ordered they drop the guns. Instead of complying a woman on scene then pulled out a revolver and discharges shots at one of the males. Fearing for his life and those of the other people present, the Officer fired his weapon discharging two shots at the woman. As he aimed for her abdominal level so as to

Press Release: Officer Involved Shooting

On Dec. 27th at around 5 p.m., an Officer from the Santa Ramona Police Department who was attending Mass on his evening meal break. He to draw his gun when a woman in the congregation opened fire on a male two pews in front, and shot the male in the chest. The Officer in question ordered the woman to drop the gun, she failed to do so and instead, turned to face the Officer with the gun still in her hand. Fearing for his life and those of the other people present, the officer fired his weapon, hitting the young woman in the abdomen. The Officer called for back up and the Chief of Police arrived to assist. There was doctor present in the congregation who immediately began performing life-savin

Lifestyles Section: Smoke Signals

Today's location Smoke Signals. The primer place to get all your Pineapple express..Next Friday and toker needs accomplished This fine establishment is located on Mission Blvd, conveniently across from the bus stop upon arrival. Okay so now you know were it is this is how it is many fantastic choices to choose from for you high needs..from concentrates to edibles and the good old fashion bud itself which lets face it never goes out of style. The prices are very affordable something for every budget and since it is owned and run by the grower (who is super sexy just this reporters observation ) any who, this keeps cost down and quality for lack of a better word HIGH. So for your Che

Looking for Witnesses

Santa Ramona Police Dept are looking for witnesses who might of seen a large dark colored car, with dark, possibly tinted windows, that was driving very slowly around the area of Wolfes Tavern on the night of 9th November 2018 Its believed the car very slowly around the block, then circled back much faster sometime just after 9pm. It's believed there two people inside although the dark windows make it difficult to identify them. Its also possible this vehicle may of been seen in the trails area too sometime later that evening. Anyone who might of remembered seeing this car are encouraged to call the SRPD non emergency number as soon as possible as it is believed the vehicle may of been invol