THE sANTA rAMONA cHRONICLES

The Santa Ramona Chronicles

Local News & Events

Venue Available for Your Events

Regal. Dignified. Upscale. Cortez Hotel is not just a hotel for those seeking a place to rest on a long trip. We offer a well appointed event space and event planning services. Baby shower? Bridal Shower? Bachelor party? Wedding Reception? We do it all. Contact Sarina Jade (Madison Munro) at 555-12-3456 to schedule a meeting to make your event the best event in SRV.

City Hall Bombing

At Approximately 5:05 pm on Friday April 20th, 2018, an explosion that shook the city would go off at City Hall. The bulding erupted in flames and several supportive beams that were part of the foundation and erecting the front of the building gave out creating a hazard for those trapped inside. Many were able to escape unharmed or with minor injuries as first responders were prompt to arrive on the scene. Unfortunately, several police officers were badly burned and 2 detectives had lost their lives to the blast. No civilian deaths were reported, however. Investigations and witnesses as well as live footage of the explosion show that the blast originated from a bomb placed in a police cr

First Responders Auction Outstanding

“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” Thomas Merton. Generally, art is displayed on the back drop of white walls while buyers sip wine to admire the soft brush strokes upon the canvases, but this past weekend, the citizens of Santa Ramona were privy to a different type of art show that indeed might make one lose themselves and find themselves while posed against the beautiful back drop of our very own California skies with an opening show by the Santa Ramona Cheerleaders. The auction was sponsored by the Hotel Cortez with the Hotel's owner, Sarina Jade, serving as both Hostess and Auctioneer for the physique art of the human body...in the flesh...no less. Th

Venue for Rent

Space for rent. Need a spot to host a party, catering event, or perhaps your next board meeting? Creamy Center Cafe has the space needed for such events. Stop by the Cafe or Call Ame Paragorn at 1(661)316-4135

Taco Block Party

And a party it was!!! The City Commissioners and personnel roped off Mission Blvd. down to the courthouse, where contestants in the "Best Taco" competition then decorated individual booths. There were sombreros, maracas, Mexican and Colombian flags, painted cats and even a Mariachi Band to fill the streets not only with the bright colors but with the sounds and smells to rival any Latino Fiesta! The contestants were there to show off their talents in making the best tacos in town offering the citizens a wide selection to tempt their taste buds to life with the standard...the exotic...the sizzling hot. No matter your preference in tacos, it was sure to be found at the block party. Hotel Cort

Fire Department Saves Tito's Pizza

On Wednesday, April 4th alarms rang out in the Santa Ramona Fire Department. At about 6:30 in the evening, a 911 call reported a fire in the local pizzeria on Mission Blvd. Fire Chief John Morpork and his crew arrived on scene to find a fire in progress. Working quickly and with the skill and teamwork one would expect of a well oiled machine, the blaze was put out within fifteen minutes. According to Chief Morpork the fire was started by a faulty heating lamp and spread to a display of cardboard pizza boxes. When this reporter caught up with the chief he had only positive things to say about the work of his crew: "I am very proud of our people, they immediately got to work and saved tha

The Results Are In; And the Winner IS?

Barbituates, a commonly used group of sleep inducting drugs, ketamine, a drug used to maintain anesthesia inducing a trance-like state while providing pain relief, sedation, and memory loss, and LSD, a potent hallucinogenic drug, to name a few! Would be a Woodstock remake perhaps if they had not been fed to the citizens of Santa Ramona via tea and cookies without their permission. The doctors and staff have been working tirelessly with the inundation of victim's from last Friday's event at Wolfe's tavern. As the victims began reporting their strange symptoms, lapses in memory, and for some much worse, the Santa Ramona Police Department acted quickly in sending each to the hospital to have b