The Santa Ramona Chronicles

Local News & Events

Local Events & Openings

FIREWORK DISPLAY AT THE PIER On July 4th the Santa Ramona Valley Parks and Recreation department held a firework display at the pier. ZigZag Surf Magazine Photographer, Chase Knight was a guest at the display and donated the attached photo to the Santa Ramona Valley Historical Society. This photo will be added to the society's collection SANTA RAMONA SOCIAL SERVICES OPENS APPS With the border sealed by the recent change in federal legislation, the Santa Ramona Valley Board of Social Services has for the first time ever, experienced a surplus in budget. The increase in reserves being tauted as proof the Ultra Conservative political movement lead by President Trump works. The surplus has all


In recent weeks several buildings in the area including both private and government property have been tagged with graffiti symbols from a low level crime organization known as Los Reyes. Police report the Los Reyes gang are merely some juveniles trying to imitate popular media cultures.Anyone having information on the individuals vandalizing the building should call the SVPD tip line at 1-800-Rat-OnMe. Prostitution continues to rise with many illegal women turning to the streets as the President's immigration ban keeps the border crossings closed. The homeless women taking shelter around the bus station and pandering commuters has lead to an increase in transit security. Local Conservative


On July 6th at 10pm, a quadruple homicide was committed at the Lock and Load located in Downtown Santa Ramona. The bodies of Missy and Pat Carsigna, owners of the Lock and Load, were found at the crime scene. Two other bodies, were reportedly taken into custody by Santa Ramona Valley Police but have yet to be identified. Witnesses and SRPD officials are saying the murders are a result of a robbery gone bad. The Chronicle was live on the scene, catching photos of the crime scene and spoke with one (NPC) Maria Gualdalupe Ponte Deleon who reported hearing gunshots around closing time that evening. "I was just finishing my shift and got to the bus stop. Behind me I hear BOOm BOOM BOOM! I hide an


By: RIta Rumor A very prominent physician in Santa Ramona is rumored to have an STD. An unidentified Latino man was heard speaking about it rather loudly at one of the July 4th events. The name of the woman was not released but rumor has it, she'd been seen on the arm of some of Santa Ramona's most prominent men. Two prostitutes were seen entering Wolfe's Tavern on Saturday night. The Owner Stubbard McCaw was not available for questions but rumor has it Santa Ramona police are watching the establishment. Ms. Nancy, the beloved ticket matron who has been collecting train fares for the Santa Ramona express was seen under the influence and in a compromising position with a Chinese Man and a duc


SIN-O-SCOPE Aries - Your too stubborn for your own good. Rub one off in the bathroom at the gas station and you'll find true love. Taurus - Not only are you a bull, but a bully. Let your true self be free. Kick some rich kids ass today and money will come to you. Gemini - Twins or two for one. Seeking Happiness? When was the last time you had a threesome? Cancer - You moody bitches need to come out of your house. Jack the meds off of someone who has insurance and chill! Leo - Leo is the Lion and Lions love to lick. Feeling a little low on energy this week? Treat yourself and someone you love to a little vagina-tarian tonight. Virgo - The virgin, never gets laid. So power up that vibe and ju

Local Events and Openings

GRATEFUL MEDS SPONSORS BEACH PARTY By Lily White July 2, 2017 - Newly Established business Grateful Meds, a Marijuana Dispensary, hosted a beach party at Santa Ramona's Nude Beach this weekend. Owner of Grateful Meds, Gage Dawson provided hot dogs, hamburgers and drinks to the adult-only party. Mr. Dawson provided various cannabis items ranging from smokable marijuana with chocolate strains to edible marijuana cookie. More than half the entire city joined the event causing major traffic delays on Pacific Ave. Grateful Meds is located at 45 Mission Blvd.. Their hours of operation are M-F 11am-7pm Saturdays and Sundays 2pm-2am. HARE RAMA DEN FOR HARE CURRY OPENS Where does a reader go when t

420 Ramps up Valley Crime

With California Marijuana laws still under heavy debate in the State Senate, last night's Beach Blast sponsored by Grateful Meds gave plenty of Anti-420'ers much to talk about. The recently established marijuana dispensary hosted a party on Santa Ramona's nude beach attracting a wave of criminal activity and crippling the city's holiday traffic flow. Eye witness report a prostitution ring known as The Lemondrops were in attendance at the event and engaging in lewd acts on the public beach. The head of the ring is believed to be known as "Mary". Undisclosed sources say the Lemondrop ring may have international ties in the human sex trafficking industry. "And a bunch of them Mexicans" Said Ms.

Santa Ramona Has Opened!

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